So What Did Those Bundys Want?

imageRecently, I participated in one of the most intriguing social media push-backs in history. It involved some serious mocking of a rather serious yet ill-conceived plot by a group of disgruntled white men, mostly fringe Mormons, to occupy a national wildlife refuge in Harney County, Oregon.

By now, most know the story. It involved desperate pleas for snacks, mailed dildos, bags of gummi-dicks and even a 55 gallon drum of personal lubricant. The rest you can read at OregonLive.

But today,  the $64,000 question was asked among our merry band of Snacktivists™:  was anyone from #Yallqaeda ever able to articulate what they were angry about specifically?

22 brilliant answers ensued…

  1. “Guns, tranny gubmint, Molan Labe, 2nd Gunmendment of the Gunstertooshiun……’Murica!!!”
    That’s about as well and as much as I could understand from their toothless gum flapping.
  2. Not enough snacks, duh. Haven’t you been paying attention?
  3. They dont feel they’ve gotten their share of the pie.
  4. Yes. Cliven Bundy wasn’t getting free stuff!
  5. All I heard was: farm, constitutional, and ‘merica. Which my idiot to English dictionary translated to “we have no idea what we’re doing here.”
  6. The underlying issue is their religion – Mormons. Ever since they weren’t allowed to control the entire Northwest as their Profit (there’s always a Prophet involved), Joseph Smith demanded via the Angel Moroni who came to him way back in the early 1800’s, they’ve been vying for a way to make that happen. Interestingly enough, Joseph Smith and his brother Hyrum were both killed after a mob busted into the jail where they were being held in Ohio and killed them both. Brigham Young then took over and led his people West. The End.
  7. Yanno, stuff.
  8.  Something about seats on the small bus?? And other angry white guy stuff.
  9. Short answer: insufficient luxuriousness of their government handouts.
  10. Berpaderp constitution!
  11. I think they are angry because slavery and theft are illegal?
  12. They are not capable to clearly articulate their way through a 4th grade textbook.
  13. They word not gooder than whut litle kids do.

imageAnd there you have it. Perhaps more incisive answers than any of the Bundys or their fellow Cosplaytriots™ could conjure.